A YEAR AGO vs NOW
I know 2020 has been weird, but where I was a year ago, I am extremely grateful.
About a week ago, I decided I wanted to go to a shooting range. I wanted to feel in power. Of course I asked my BFF (Justin), if he could tagalong.
He gladly accepted. ❤️
Do you want to know the real reason I wanted to go shooting?
A year ago I felt helpless, alone, and defeated. I was in a toxic relationship that escalated physically. During one of the lows, I walked barefoot through a city that wasn’t my own, with no way of contacting anyone. I had to ask strangers for help.
I didn't even have my phone. Nothing.
Through the help of some kind-hearted strangers, I was able to get in contact with Justin. He called me an Uber and let me stay with him and his boyfriend, Brandon. Only to find the next day, my boyfriend (at the time) had broken into my apartment. The way I felt during that time was unlike anything before, physical pain all over and constant shaking. Thankfully I had Justin with me and he calmed me through the whole experience.
The most embarrassing part happened weeks later. I got back with him.
I was so weak at the time I couldn’t see my worth. My mental health was suffering and I was getting bad news after bad news. I couldn‘t even recognize myself both inside and out. I wasn't in control anymore. And I never want to feel like that again.
Going to a shooting range a year later made me feel like I have power; because I do. I know what I am capable of and what I have to offer. That whole 'experience' left me with pieces of myself but now I am stronger than ever.
It's like harnessing the power of a badass.
I also want to mention that if you have a similar situation, you are not weak! You were never weak. You were manipulated. Remember that power you have within and use it to speak up. To those who have heard stories like these from friends, check ups on them mean more than you think. Be ready to listen, sometimes that alone is enough.